Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Writers Block

I really don’t get writer’s block. Try as I might, I can never seem to turn off the voices in my head, so not knowing what to have my characters say really isn’t a problem for me. I started writing a YA novel last April. I finished the fifth draft in December. If I went for 24 hours without writing it felt like an eternity.

I commute by train and brought my laptop with me, so I could write everyday on the way to and from work. Typically my characters would scream at me all morning, and I would have a very hard time focusing on my actual paying job. So I’d pull out my laptop and write during my lunch break. I often didn’t even bother turning off my computer at the end of my commute home, knowing I would just write all evening.

When I finished my fifth draft, I was pretty happy with the story. That was the first draft that I didn’t imedately feel compeled to change the POV, or kill off half a dozen characters. So I sent the draft out to some beta readers and took a break from my insain writing schedule.

About a week after I stopped writing my novel, I decided to start writing my memoir. I got about 80 pages into it after a couple weeks of writing. The problem with writing a memoir, is that I know what is going to happen. It’s my life, I’ve already lived it. So I don’t have any burning desires to get everything out of me. I’m not rittled with curiosity, eager to find out what will happen next.

I do plan on finishing my memoir at some point in time, but I haven’t written anything new in the story since January. Instead I have resorted to daydreaming about the characters in my novel. They are all teenagers in the book, and very interesting people. I decided I had to know what would happen to them. So I let them grow up.

Let me get something clear. I don’t want to write a sequal. I’m never going to actually write down the stories I have been dreaming for the past four months. I just had to dream them. I had to know what was going to happen to these characters. I don’t want to read on the train, because I like the stories in my head better than the stories in books. And I don’t want to write on the train because I’m not planning on turning this particular story into a novel. I just have to day dream. I have to know this story, even if nobody else does.

So this leads me to my pacular new stage of writers block. I haven’t worked on my novel for almost five months. I’ve gotten feedback from my beta readers, and I know all the changes I need to make in the sixth draft. But I don’t want to. I can’t bring myself to actually write anything, because I’m having to much fun daydreaming – about the grown up versions of the characters in the book I’m supposed to be writing.

What do you even call this crazy condition? It’s not writer’s block. It’s dreamer’s flood.

Monday, May 18, 2009


I'm a very lazy person, and I pretty sure I would have died if I was born during the stone age. But my husband is a great hunter/gatherer. This past weekend was super beutiful and we headed out to the coast. I enjoyed spending time at the beach, while my husband enjoyed spending time 20 miles off shore. After two days on the water he brought three Halabit to shore. So we now have a very well stocked freezer.

I've really never gotten into fishing. I don't like salmon fishing, because I don't like waking up at 3:00 am. I don't like Halabit fishing because I get sea sick and don't want to head that far out into the ocean. I don't like clamming because digging holes is hard and I'm lazy. I can handle stergion fishing, but stergion aren't that good and eating bottom fish caught in the Willamette always feels kind of scary. Crabbing is pretty much the only form of hunting/gathering I'm willing to do.

I do like eating Halabit though. Especially the day it's caught. Mmm that's tasty. So I'm not complaining about my husbands hobby/obsession. I think it is wonderful. Just because I don't want to help, I still like to eat.

I also have a problem with gathering - ie gardening. I know that some people love working in their gardens and find is supper enjoyable/relaxing. I honestly think living in a condo that required zero yard work would be fabulous. But that is never going to happen ever - where would we park the boat.

Besides me being supper lazy, as afore mensioned, the other problem that I have with growings your own food is that you end up with to much of one think. Last summer we had an never ending supply of green beans. Green beans are my favorite vegitable. I order green beans at restarants all the time. When grocery shopping I am always excited if I can find good looking green beans in the store. But by the time we pulled the 20th pound of green beans out of our yard, I was ready for some broccoli instead.

This year I didn't do anything to help plant a garden. I told my husband I didn't want one, and that we could just buy our produce. We actually belong to a CCR that gives us home delivered organics, so driving to the store isn't even requried to get yummy fruits and veggies. But there are currently half a dozen tomato plants and god only knows how many green bean packages in my back yard. It seems the hunter/gatherer that I'm married to is one of those wierd people who enjoys doing yard work. Again, I'm not going to complain. Because as I said before, I like eating. I'm just glad I wasn't born in the stone age.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

How Do You Spell Hypocondriac

There is a reason I haven't blogged for a while. I was stuck in bed with swine flu. Although I'm feeling much better now, so I must have a really strong imune system.

I am a bit of a hypocondriac. I typically assume that I have a rair disease every time I feel a bit under the weather. Perhaps I need to stop watching "House". It is a great TV show, but it also fuels me with lots of new ideas about diseases I might have.

When I got sick last week, I really never thought that I had swine flu. I got super tired while I was at work - literatly falling asleep at my desk. So I went home. Most of my co-workers joked it was swine flu when I was leaving. When I got home, my husband started oinking at me. But I did a little research on the internet and saw that I really didn't have very many of the swine flu symptoms.

I was extreamly fatigued, I had a slight feaver, I was nausious, and felt super light headed. Sleeping 16-18 hours a day for five days and taking lots of vitamins did make me feel much better. So it may have just been some virus other than H1N1, or it could have been stress, or it could have been anemia, or it could have been some rair desease like they feature on "House".

Last week wasn't the first time I had displayed these symptoms, so I didn't even have to research them to know what diseases I could have. I desided Adisons Disease was a much more likely perpetrator than Swine Flu. While I have never had my cortisol levels tested, I have had doctors go down the list and ask me about every single symptom for Adisons Disease. Adisons disease is pretty rair though. Cancer is a lot more common. So I could have just had lucimia.

I told you I'm a hypocondriac. When I get super tired for a week right in the middle of a swine flu epidemic, my mind immediately jumps to - I problably have lucimia. Fortunately, I'm feeling much better now. So it must have magically gone into remission on its own.