Monday, June 15, 2009

Dyslexia Jokes

I'm sick of getting rude comments on this post, so I feel the need to add a quick introduction. I AM DYSLEXIC! If you read anything on this blog beyond the list of jokes associate with this post, you would know that. But a lot of people seem to enjoy searching for dyslexia jokes and then yelling at the people who post them without stopping to ask who those people are. I know dyslexics aren't stupid. I don't think that I'm stupid, and like I said before, I am dyslexic.

But even if most dyslexics are very intelligent, dyslexia jokes can at times be funny. Not all of these jokes are exceptionally funny, but a few of them make me laugh. So I'm sharing them with you. If they make you laugh, that's great. If they make you offended, why are you reading them to begin with?

Okay, that's all I had to say, now for the jokes.


A dyslexic walked into a bra.


What do you get when the you cross a dyslexic, and agnostic, and an insomniac.
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.


Dyslexics of the world untie.


The National Association of Dyslexics, also known as A.N.D.


The satanic dyslexic sold his sole to Santa.


How many dyslexics does it take to skrew in a lightbulb?
103: 1 to hold the bulb and 102 to read the directions.


Why did the dyslexic cross the road?
To get to Horse Diet


After a trip to the doctor my friends informed me, “It’s bad. I’ve got the big C.”
“Oh no, canser?”
“No, Dyslexia.”


Teacher: “You have horrible grammer.”
Dyslexic: “You’ve never even met her.”


First dyslexic cook: “Can you smell gas?”
Second dyslexic cook: “I can’t even smell my own name.”


A dyslexic entered a spelling bee. She came in SALT.

94 comments:

Rupadarshin said...

Good on you! Standing up for being dyslexic is well brave - as it is so easy to find it funny - which is not fair.
I actually found your blog while searching for dyslexia jokes to illustrate how it feels to read jokes about yourself.. for a guy who had posted badly spelt racist jokes in an international forum...
I am lucky I spell well - but there are still a few words that get to me... ie awkward - some days I have to look it up (which is tricky if you can't spell it, yeah?... ) Good on you!

raj921 said...

i'm Dyslexic and i'm outraged by these jokes they are all crap if ur gonna take the piss out of us at least take the time to make proper jokes

Anonymous said...

i'm dyslexic and i love them!

Anonymous said...

U DONT HAVE TO STAND FOR THIS ITS DUMB AND CRUEL I HATE THESE THINGS IM A DYSLEXIC LEVEL 1 STUDENT. I AM NOT STUPID!!!

Anonymous said...

IM NOT DYSLEXIC AND I'M STUPID

Anonymous said...

Im dyslexic, and i cant spell huose

Anonymous said...

Im dyslexic and im sutpid

Anonymous said...

lolololololol

Anonymous said...

I'm dyslexic, and i LOVE these!! :P

Anonymous said...

Me 2. I think most Lisdexics would enjoy these.

Anonymous said...

ugh, cant you people take a joke? Seriously.

Kate said...

I'm sorry if people find these offensive, but not that sorry. Seriously, get over yourself. It's a joke.

I am dyslexic and have an entire blog about it. Feel free to link through to the other pages. I'm not trying to say "we" are stupid. I'm just trying to lighten things up a bit.

Anonymous said...

there is a joke to insult any type of person, if you find them insultive your silly really.

Im in the bottom 1% of the UK for grammer, spelling and speed reading, however i have a semi photgraphic memory and i can remember every phone number ive ever seen and every number plate i see in a day. Were far from stupid we just excel in our own areas as it were ;) [im sure you'll find my spelling mistakes in here

Anonymous said...

Only two of these make scents

Anonymous said...

i am dyslexic and i love all these they are great.. you poeple just need to get a life... A dyslexic kid asks his mum for a McDonald's, she says "You can have one if you can spell it" The kid replies "Fuck it ill have a KFC"... even though i am dyslexic i has be said that is one of the funniest jokes ever.

Anonymous said...

To whoever is posting these (btw really cheap jokes)im dyslexic and probably cooler than you!:) im not offended, your jokes are just crap. :)
-BTW and you forgot "dyslexics of the world UNTIE!" make shure you post that one in your spare time (which you seem to have alot of).

Anonymous said...

ha ha this was a funny one . . . . . its ok . ..everybody . . .

Anonymous said...

there just jokes no one mens them.

Anonymous said...

Got to say some of these are bad, but as a dyslexic they are great but your missing one of the best I have heard.

I didn't know my secretary was dyslexic till I sent her an Email telling her to sack my cook!!!

Can everyone who takes offence to these jokes please go and get a sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

Info about housing at DUH.GOV

Anonymous said...

I am looking for jokes on dyslexia and came across one of the dumbest websites before coming here. The guy had many of the same jokes but he was listing them with no diagnoses of dyslexia. I was offended and insulted as a result.

Reading the jokes here, and then having you comment on how your dyslexic made me not feel offended.

I have dyslexia and when it's someone who has it, telling the joke, that's okay. We understand that it's supposed to be funny because we know it's not true. When it's someone outside telling the joke, it comes off condesending and perpetuating wrong ideas.

The point of this, is to thank you for making me realize this. It's a Catch-22, of course, allowing one person to say it and not the other bececause of a diagnoses, but still... That's life...

Anonymous said...

if you don't like it don't read it...

annabanana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
annabanana said...

if you are a dyslexic who can't laugh at yourself ..get a file!!!

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Thanks for the grin. Another favorite, short and sweet:

So a dyslexic walks into a bra...

Anonymous said...

Im dyslexic, dad was, all 3 sons are, lifes tough get on with it. If you cannot laugh about it and enjoy what you are good at you have my sympathy.

Anonymous said...

dyslexics are toeple poo!!

Anonymous said...

haha some of those are really funny XD I'm a dyslexic and i don't find those jokes offensive at all it's a learning disadvantage not cancer for gods sake :L on all the other websites it's like 'DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HUMILIATED!' XD
me and my friend were texting each other when at x-mas and shes dyslexic too neither of us could spell merry so all our cards were wrong:L because i had said Meary X-mas and she went 'no it's Mery x-mas' so we both wrote mery the nest morning we were hand our x-mas cards to each other and he was like''what do you get when two dyslexic are helping each other at Christmas? alot of badly written x-mas card XD''
a personal favorite of mine is 'dyslexic- mom can i get a McDonalds? mom:you can have it if you can spell it. dyslexic- fuck this I'm having KFC!

Anonymous said...

I'm with anonymous XD and yes i had to scroll up to find out how to spell that :L

Anonymous said...

I'm dyslexic and I think these are brilliant. If you can't laugh at yourself then you're an ass. Don't take life so seriously :)

Dr Zoidberg said...

Very funny jokes!

Any dyslexics out there who truncate words? I seem to truncate "they, their, them, they've" and most "the" beginning words to "the". I discovered it in College when trying to program a computer with "IF THEN ELSE" type logic statements.

Anonymous said...

I am dyslexic and I find this not humorous at all. Very offensive actually. Don't you have something better to do with your time instead of making up dumb jokes about a disability that we can't control? This is gross to me. Finding humor in a disability.

Anonymous said...

baderrr!!! i don hav dyslexia but im offendid grrr!!! ima crack angrys at eveyone with self-righteous nay-saying, manerrr!

im kidding of course, why would it upset me? in fact why would anyone actually look for and peruse the sight just to bitch and moan? being dyslexic does have its drawbacks though, i went to a toga party dressed as a goat, go the mighty pies!!!

Anonymous said...

haha I love these there epic and as you may see im dyslexic, im showing these to my friends and they dont get them hah! love it

Anonymous said...

raj921, dont be a haetr

Anonymous said...

tbh i think as a dyslexic the best thing you can do is make a joke at it and have a laugh about what you have spelt wrong, as if you dont someone else will get in there, you learn to make a joke of it you learn to deal with it x

Anonymous said...

Well i'm dyslexic and i don't relly like these jokes. sure peeople just make them to b funny but they are porbelly the won's who don't have it and therefore thinks its okay to slag of people who do have it, like me and some of the people who has commented on this. if your going to make jokes aout it then atlest tr y to dim down the consept your trying to make by making us all souned thichk. these are verie crewl jokes and let me tell you's somthing...the peple who make these jokes are the won's who are very crewl and sick. this is the wey we were born and somthing we will has all our life's so just stop cossing us all this greiff......!!

CLEVERASFUCK said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL i love taking the piss out of dyslexics!

CLEVERASFUCK said...

WAS THAT COMMENT A JOKE?? YOU'RE HILARIOUS!


Well i'm dyslexic and i don't relly like these jokes. sure peeople just make them to b funny but they are porbelly the won's who don't have it and therefore thinks its okay to slag of people who do have it, like me and some of the people who has commented on this. if your going to make jokes aout it then atlest tr y to dim down the consept your trying to make by making us all souned thichk. these are verie crewl jokes and let me tell you's somthing...the peple who make these jokes are the won's who are very crewl and sick. this is the wey we were born and somthing we will has all our life's so just stop cossing us all this greiff......!!

Anonymous said...

Whilst at a party, making jokes, as one does..I made one about myself. You should have heard the bitching from people...How it was so wrong to say such things, even about myself.

Well, it's me, my choice, so bite me.

Sufficed to say, there will always be wowsers, nanny state types and social greivers They are the bane of existence. However, a dyslexic friend shared this gem with me...

Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up"

Laugh while you can at what you can, life is too short.

Lord_Smegg

Anonymous said...

i have one to how many dyslexic dose it tack to beat your ass only one ME !!

Anonymous said...

I can't remember any phone number, address, or spelling. However God has compensated me with abnormal math power. This way I see pattern in all numbers, names, and events, and can remember most of them. What killed me was that when I was a child, I was told I was retarded, and never had the self confidence, and never discovered my gift at the right time.

Anonymous said...

I love a lot of these! But I'd suggest that the one about the satanist who "sold his sole to Santa" could work better if you took out "satanist" (since the devil-worshippers don't sell their souls to Satan--they give them!) I'd word it "Did you hear about the dyslexic who sold his soul to Santa?"--makes the reader/listener work a little to get the joke.

Anonymous said...

LOL. Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up"

Love it, Thanks lord smegg. I have dyslexia and a bachelors degree in political science. All of you sensitive pricks who don't like these jokes should eat sh!t. Look at my spelling hoe bags. I overcame my disability by laughing at my mistakes. Thanks For All Of These Wonderful Jokes Everyone.

Anonymous said...

What does DNA stand for?


National Dyslexic Association.

Anonymous said...

I really can't believe that there are dyslexic people out there who are so outragesly offend! Seriously, take a chill pill! Dude. Come on. I'm am 20 years old and dyslexic. In high school I had an english teacher who did not consider dyslexia to be a "serious problem." I am still afraid to tell my profs about my condidtion. Yet, inspite of all this, I am still able to laugh about it. And these are harmless jokes. Seriously,

Dyslexics of the world, Untie!

Thats funny. Although when I read it I actually read Unite, which I thought made it funnier.

Honestly though, if your outraged by these than why are you reading them? Seems to me that you are obviously just bored and need something to complaind about. People these days aren't able to laugh at themselves. The world is becoming to damn serious.

If you were outraged by this, seriously, get over yourself.

P.S. Really? They put a word verification to post on a dyslexic website? Haha, thats funny too XD

Anonymous said...

I find them funny and I'm a seldyxic.

Anonymous said...

Did you hear about the dyslexic muslim....he kept trying to spell 'muslim', but all he got was....'murder, mayhem, misogyny, misery....'but he is still trying...

Anonymous said...

wait for the outraged dyslexic muslims....LOL

Anonymous said...

Lol ^ funny lets make fun of muslims also. The only reason that i am not phased by these jokes is because they are just a bad speculation, yes we maybe bad at english I know. There are so many more areas where we dyslexics are truly gifted, such as visual perception. Society seems to bypass these and focus on are flaws. The truth is are minds are gifted in so many more ways then the regular mind, so you can laugh at these jokes all you want. I don't care. Neither should any other dyslexic person that reads this article. These jokes are focused around such a miniscule flaw in what is really a gifted mind.

Anonymous said...

gifted my sas

Anonymous said...

jesus teg a file

Anonymous said...

im dyslexic and i love these

Anonymous said...

carm down they are light hearted fun you people that are so bothered just just relax and be dyslexic i think its fine i like being dyslexic it makes me more creative

Anonymous said...

I'm not lysdexic but I'm inraged and outsluted by these sekoj!
But those captcha words make sense to me!

Anonymous said...

OMG thats fucking wrong. what the hell is wrond with dyslexic people? ive got dyslexia and tbh i find nothing wrong with me. were people to you know, just because were not as smart as you dont mean you can pick on us. i hope you actually die.

Anonymous said...

These jokes are so fucking stupid, unrealistic and unfunny. Anyone who finds this funny has a sick twisted mind and how fucking dare you. You should go fuck off! This is why the world is sometimes hated! The following people have dyslexia, so you’re making fun of them too:
Kiera Knightley
Tom Cruise
Orlando Bloom
Leonardo Da Vinci
Muhammad Ali
Richard Branson
Agatha Christie
That's only a few! So make fun of dyslexia and look like the bloody freak you are. How many fucking twats are there? You should be so very ashamed of yourselves for laughing at these unfunny "jokes". You are hated you bloody freaks! Go die.
(P.S: I happen to be dyslexic, see if you can find a mistake, because dyslexia made me stronger, a lot stronger then the fucker who made up unfunny jokes! Remember dyslexia affects people in different ways!)
Piss off you fuckers!

Anonymous said...

Fuck off!

Jake said...

I agree with the two comments above. Any one who finds this bloody funny should go fuck off! Really piss off!

Rosaline said...

FUCK OFF AND GO DIE, YOU PIG!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

yep the person who created thease jokes if one stupid sod, who feels the need to make fun of people smarter then themselves. Idiot.

Katie Marie said...

I'm not finding the jokes funny.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahaha NOT! F@*% off thease are really BAD!

Anonymous said...

To all the dyslexics out there complaining can I ask who read this to you.....

Anonymous said...

I had to read that last comment to my girlfriend who is dyslexic and she pissed herself laughing at it!!

Dannt said...

NOT FUCKING FUNNY! I HATE THIS!

Anonymous said...

Glad to find someone who sucks at spelling as much as me. The rest of you GFUS.

Anonymous said...

Now Tourette's crossed with dyslexia ....... You'd get some ripe replies from that ! Now cuff. Off

Anonymous said...

Cuking funt vat aynt evun runny

Anonymous said...

these jokes are sick cruel!!!!! people who have dyslexia are not stupid!! to who ever wrote this how would u feel if some one made fun of a disability that you had!!!! I am not trying to be a buzz kill i know that it is a joke but i don't care and that is not an excuse to make fun of us!!!!!! You know my whole life i have had trouble in school people made fun of me because i have dyslexia!! :( and i have to work 2 times as hard in school to as the other kids!! Making a joke about someone with a disability is sick and wrong!! by you writing this you are acting like we are lower then you and where not!!!!

Anonymous said...

Its just a joke calm down they r kinda funny obviously we meaning us dyslexics rnt stupid im dyslexic and smart i get all as and 5s on my ap exams sure it mite take a lil bit work bt if u cant make fun of ur self every once in a while y look dyslexic jokes im mean come on ur only dyslexic tht doesnt make u retarded if u dont want 2 b made fun of dont look up dyslexic jokes get ur shit together

Anonymous said...

I guess some people dont get the joke. As a dyslexic person, I appreciate the humor. The People who are being asshats just didnt read the whole post

Anonymous said...

Good on you for not fighting dyslexia and embracing it. We might as well laugh and not cry!!

Anonymous said...

guys i can understand why some of you are offended by some of these jokes. but guess what. if you are there is a little X you can press at the top of your screen. just don't bad mouth us. it's hypercritical

Anonymous said...

I cant spell and I'm nit even disle..lysde..disleksik

There you are - no sign of my tourettes.!

fcuk off..!!!!!

Anonymous said...

one i like is DNA: National Dyslexic Association LOL

Anonymous said...

Im dyslexic,and i thinks dyslexic jokes are awesome. 8)

Anonymous said...

Do you know sixteen out of two people are dyslexic. >:-)

Anonymous said...

All u jerks who are not dyslexic and tell us to take a joke
You just don't understand
It really hurts when people make jokes about us
So just leave us alone
If we put the sexy in dyslexia
Then that means we r sexy and u r not...
How do u like that joke

john said...

Worst part is when writing on paper, is it spelt right? NOPE STRIKE IT OUT. repeat a few times, realising that you tried that combination already, then saying fuck it and giving up. All I wanted to do was spell dyslexia.

Thanks to the internet gods and spell checking on forms like these!

Anonymous said...

Those jokes are not funny. Just mean.
Albert Einstein was dyslexcic and lots of other people to and those jokes are mean.

Anonymous said...

I am borderline dyslexic (and a genius mind you) but these jokes were hilarious, also all the haters, he dud in fact warn you... also if you wonder how we type so well, two words, lelsp hceck (just a joke)

Katy Cameron said...

Ha, love them, I went looking for dyslexic jokes (I am a dyslexic), and I have to say, some of the outraged replies were even funnier :oD Thank god for built in spell check though ;o)

Seriously though, captcha? How mean are you?!

Anonymous said...

Jokes are just observations about the differences we see in life and making light of it.
Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same.
Be nice to one another!

Anonymous said...

This is just about the least offensive thing on the internet. Keep up the good and funny work!

Anonymous said...

I have sexdaily, and it's not funny.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so your right, if people don't like the jokes why are they on your site, move on. I got your site my mistake and I am also dyslexic. My issue, it's just not funny and many of the jokes don't work. If one dyslexic person said something to another, it's going to cause confusion as it's not written down. All this is going to do is re-enforce peoples bad view on what a dyslexic is..... still as you say, it's your website and your free to do what you like, good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

how come some many deslyxic people can spell dxsyleic right?

Anonymous said...

Its not funny you need to start to work on your stand up because your jokes are not funny

Oliver Machin said...

If nothing else all these comments just go to prove that people with dyslexia are human like everybody else and have the same reactions of love, laughter or anger. Just because somebody is "something" it doesn't mean they all feel the same was about that "something".

MrHjuni said...

Haha you retard your so dyslexic😂😂

Anonymous said...

LEVEL ONE THICK CUNT ����

Teresa Evans said...

Im dislexic and so is my older son and i have not laugh like this in a very long time. I work long hours and for a very long time I try to hide my dislexia but today for the first time in my life I'm not only relat to all of these jokes but i was able to laugh about been dislexic. ����

Teresa Evans said...

Im dislexic and so is my older son and i have not laugh like this in a very long time. I work long hours and for a very long time I try to hide my dislexia but today for the first time in my life I'm not only relat to all of these jokes but i was able to laugh about been dislexic. ����